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How do these people survive?

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Level 13 Human gamer
Alignment: True neutral
Posted on May 24, 2006 at 4:08 pm

this is an email I got. It was originally titled how are our schools doing?




ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. We don't have half dozen nuggets, said the teenager at the counter. You don't? I replie d. We only have six, nine, or twelve, was the reply. So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six? That's right. So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

TWO I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few i tems and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider , looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, Do you know how much this is? I said to her I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today. She said OK, and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what! had just happened.

THREE A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.

FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you need some help? I asked. She replied, I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this? Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too? I asked. No, just this remote thingy, she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.

FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do? Just use copier machine paper, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.

SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine. The mother says, I just gave him some ant killer..... Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!


Life is tough...
it's tougher if you're stupid.

Level 13 Human gamer
Alignment: True neutral
Posted on May 24, 2006 at 10:49 pm

I am getting some good emails; here is another:

~ Tough Love vs. Spanking ~
(a psychological conundrum)

Most of America's populace think it improper to spank children,
so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of those moments.

One that I found effective is for me to just take the child
for a car ride and talk.!

They usually calm down and stop misbehaving
after our car ride together.

I've included a photo below of one of my sessions
with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

Sincerely,
A Friend
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if anyone here would like to see all the funny emails I receive private message me telling me so ;)

Level 13 Human Unaffiliated Game Maker
Alignment: Chaotic
Location: England
Posted on May 25, 2006 at 1:31 pm

Lol, funny, but beleivable. Stupid people these days.

Level 13 Human gamer
Alignment: True neutral
Posted on May 25, 2006 at 4:13 pm

from now on if I can I will post my funny emails in this post so keep your eyes open :D

Level 13 Human gamer
Alignment: True neutral
Posted on June 14, 2006 at 12:18 pm

I have an idea...let's post emails we like in here and see how many pages we can get :D

Level 13 Human gamer
Alignment: True neutral
Posted on July 15, 2006 at 6:05 pm

I got another email that is funny (if you look at it the right way): don't step on the ducks

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St Peter says, We have only one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, Your punishment for stepping on a duck is ! to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!

The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The ! now delighted woman says, I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?

And the guy responds, I don't know about you, but I stepped on a damn duck.

Level 14 Human gamer
Alignment: True neutral
Location: Australia
Posted on July 15, 2006 at 8:38 pm

LMAO :)

Level 13 Human Unaffiliated Game Maker
Alignment: Chaotic
Location: England
Posted on July 16, 2006 at 12:35 pm

lmao funny emails! :lol:

Level 13 Human gamer
Alignment: True neutral
Posted on July 23, 2006 at 4:08 pm

The most fun thing i got is a button on my web brouser that says downloadthemall.

I did get an email saying i could buy a windows 98 Cd for $49.95 but thats it from me.