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Author Topic:   How do you get you children to do their homework?
666
Member
posted September 04, 2003 01:00 AM            
Well, I would like to know. I need some ideals. Just spent 4 hours trying to get my younger son to do an hour worth of homework. Mind you, I am exhausted and he is frustrated.

I need some good hints please.

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Rex R
Member
posted September 04, 2003 01:17 AM            
just curious. which subject(s)?

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KONG
Member
posted September 04, 2003 08:24 AM            
This is how I used to do it:

1. Get wife to do it.

2. Get wife to do it.

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666
Member
posted September 04, 2003 07:13 PM            
it a long story...we just had a bad day...it started out that he would not put up the dishes and went downhill from there. I also think that he is upset that I have taken over his computer. He is in 2nd grade and it a mix of subjects...just needed to vent.

sorry about that...LOL

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Paranor
Member
posted September 05, 2003 02:10 PM            
Gosh, your son sounds like my son!

It's tough. Some days he just gets so frustrated that he ends up crying, not breathing and in a tizzy. On those days, which is very rare, you just kinda let it slide. As a parent, you know if it's genuine or not so it's not like he's faking it.

Initially, I would say start taking away privilages. But does that really work? I remember when I was song I got grounded for getting a C. And I still got C's. It just doesn't work.

And on some subjects they just don't do well and get so frustrated. For me it was math. For my son, it's math.

Yet he excels at other subjects.

The #1 most important thing IMO is to get the teacher involved. No recess, extra class time, etc.

Second, setup a short, medium and long-range goal. This was suggested by my wife's friends' boyfriend. Short is a simple reward. Medium is more (maybe a movie), Long is a day at a arcade or something. Like a semester report card.

If he does his home on time, he gets a star. If he doesn't, he loses one. Just customize it from there.

That is what we are going to try this year.

And also, I think it's ridiculous how much homework they get. That might be an issue also. We just started school on Tuesday and already my son had 2 hours of homework lastnight (5th grade).

Speaking of which, my 5th grade teacher didn't believe in homework. That was an awesome year!

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coaxs
Member
posted September 05, 2003 03:06 PM            
I still don't believe in 2 hours+ HW. Its just meant to keep kids busy and off the streets, lets call it what it really is but a national time-out period. Works out for us older folks, but I still get HW now!!! arrggg...

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Tread Marks Ladders

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LDA
Administrator
posted September 05, 2003 03:16 PM            
We solved that problem by taking Seumas and Philippe out of school, but the home schooling option isn't available to everyone.

Rather than fight them over games, we let our boys game as much as they wanted to, but had them write reports and little reviews about the games, then encouraged them to "look under the hood" and figure out how games were made....which led to Seumas (4+ years older than Philippe) wanting to make his own...etc., etc. ( you know the rest of that story....Seumas gravitated to math and programming while Philippe gravitated to art.)

Its basically a "flow with the blows" and try to make the positives outnumber the negatives, approach, while never degrading them, as that will only destroy their self-esteme. In essence, it's better that kids read comics than never read; better that they write a review about a favorite game than never write, etc.

Teach children the joy of learning, a framework to compare objects, ideas, philosophies or whatever and they will carry on and build their own experiences...whether they become factory workers or astronauts.

Unfortunately the system tends to hammer down the inquisitive in favor of regurgitation (i.e. too much homework which ends up conveyng the message that learning sucks...) Keep in mind that the modern school system was created to teach children to conform to guidelines required by factories and offices, and given the financial linitations faced by school boards, they don't have time for much beyond that. It's easiest to think of the school system on those terms, for better or worse(...not necessarily bad...just limited...) and instill a passion for life and longterm learning on the side.

I'll stop before I get too carried away..

Jim

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Teulk
Member
posted September 05, 2003 03:23 PM            
I've got a fifth grader myself..and so far, no probs in the homework department--don't expect a smile or anythng while it's being done though!!
What works here, is the priorities of the house: first things are the chores about the house. This gives a little time out from thinking about what schoolwork is to be done.
Next is concentrating on the extrememly messy bedrooms that were left behind in the morning before school (we have a wicked schedule in the morning here, so the rooms get a little "slide" until afteer school--bsides, if I'm home, I'm sleeping, and don't really "see" the disasters anyway!!).
Next would be the "hunger phase", where after school snacks reign supreme--nothing "crappy"--small sandwiches--AND NO POP--all fairly decent/healthy.
Then I get to check what homework was actually done during school tiime, and check this over as the kids get settled at the "work" table for their actual homework.
Music is allowed, but NO TV.
Until the work is done, and checked, and corrected and re-done (if necessary), nobody leaves the table.
This has workeed for five years, so something must be going right. The grades are good, and the attitudes are in check,so I feel lucky about the way it's working.
Besides, the girls are in such a fervor over whether their friends are going to show up after school hours, that the homework HAS to be done in case they show up. And until it's done, the friends are sent off until they are called and given the OK.
Might sound a little rough, bu, that's the way it goes around here.
Strict, but fair...

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Paranor
Member
posted September 06, 2003 04:49 PM            
You made some great points Jim.

We try not to focus on the negatives as that never gets anywhere.

But, having my son play some of the WWII games I have (MOAA) he has become extremely interested in WWII history and reads about 1 WWII history book a week. And he wrote a poem about an American Soldier that is going to be published.

So gaming did help here too.


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Rex R
Member
posted September 07, 2003 02:08 AM            
tis usually good if you can find an application for the subject matter, math is icky til you find out what you can do with it, ditto science(model rocketry can be used to illustrate both plus, they make noise etc. kids seem to like things that make loud noises)

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666
Member
posted September 08, 2003 05:05 PM            
WHOA...I did not seriously think that I would be any responses...and good ones also. Will try and do those things from both LDA Jim and Teulk.

What I do when their friends come over for a playdate after school to to have all of them sit down and do their homework before they have to play. Their friends are from the same class and have the same homework. Also, the parents like it that thier kids have their homework done before they come home for dinner.

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Blue n Gold Sue
Member
posted September 12, 2003 10:29 AM            
I must add that for Jon, Treadmarks IS his motivator He gets his homework done gladly, especially if it is race day or CTF day. It's Ben who has trouble buckling down. We do the chore thing and the snack thing and then they sit at their chosen tables. Jon tends to like the living room, Ben tends to like the family room. NO TV here, either, until homework is done. Given that Ben just started the second grade, the homework isn't too extensive, but he does get it Mon-Thursday. I like it that BOTH of our kids have teachers that don't believe in homework over the weekend . Ben will have something simple like: "Write 3 things that you can do to help out in class". We will talk about that those three things are, we write down the answers for him on a seperate piece of paper to help him out with spelling (asking him to help us sound out the words) and then all he has left to do is write out the sentences. That has taken over an hour before! He can be soooooooooooooo stubborn (hehe, I know where he gets THAT from - me!) and THAT is the part that is the struggle.
Par and Jim, you guys do both have some good ideas. It'll be very interesting to see where their interests go over the next few years.

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corpse
Member
posted September 18, 2003 09:52 AM            
all i have to say is DO YOUR HOME WORK NOW and she dose it.
then we go play
LOL
make it fun for them.

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Teulk
Member
posted September 18, 2003 12:21 PM            
That must make me quite the tyrant...I beleieve in homework, and then more homework, possibly followed by more homework. It seems the schools these days aren't giving enough work for the kids to be concentrating on what they are doing and learning at the same time. Rote lessons are a thing of the past, and it seems minimalist work ethics are in.
My oldest is in Gr 9 and I haven't seen ANYTHING from her regarding work or assignments yet. The other is in Gr5, and, though she has been bringing work home, it just doesn't seem enough for that grade level.
However, both do exceedingly well...I guess I just want to see the work that goes into it!!

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