This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2 

|
Author Topic:   English lng.
KONG
Member
posted February 03, 2003 07:56 AM            
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European nation rather than German that was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of he "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru. If zis mad yu smil, ples pas it on to oza pepl.

IP:

synack
Member
posted February 03, 2003 08:08 AM         
That is tooooo funny.

IP:

Bonzo Dog
Member
posted February 03, 2003 08:14 AM            
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,

IP:

coaxs
Member
posted February 03, 2003 01:06 PM            
The English Language

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
(Or the plural of toothbrush, teethbrush)
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

------------------
Tread Marks Ladders

IP:

Sailor
Administrator
posted February 03, 2003 05:50 PM            
Maybe because we are Americans and not English. We fought to break away from them so we could be independent and create some of the craziness of the language that lets lettuce and cabbage refer to both food and money - ah freedom and anarchy in the same bowl. LOL

------------------
May you always have a following Sea a cool breeze at your back and the comfort of those you hold nearest to your heart.
Sailor's Home Port


IP:

mr.BIG
Member
posted February 03, 2003 06:14 PM         
You know Kong that last paragraph is starting to look alot like German

------------------
Support D.A.M. .............Mothers Adainst Dyslexia !

IP:

Scrap Metal
Member
posted February 03, 2003 06:19 PM            
THIS IS HILARIOUS!!!

we broke away from the british and decided to also break away from the preciseness of british english

(we revolt from england and now they are our greatest ally? this is nuts!)

(here, text books seem to take the colonists' side. i bet british text books are like: "and then those rotten ungrateful colonists broke away from the wonderful mother country.")

IP:

Irascible
Member
posted February 03, 2003 08:35 PM            
LOL! That old saying about it being funny because it's true... it does sound phonetically like a German accent. What the Germans couldn't accomplish with guns they're now trying to accomplish with diplomacy. Hence their and France's dissention over Iraq. But for those of you who listen soley to the liberal press, you might be surprised to know (a little copy and paste action):

"Last week, leaders of eight European nations - Spain, Portugal, Italy, the U.K., Hungary, Poland, Denmark and the Czech Republic - published an open letter in the Wall Street Journal supporting the United States of America's strategy to disarm Saddam Hussein. This letter praises the United States for saving the continent from German fascism - surrendered to and joined by the French - and communism. On the military side, 20 nations will allow the basing of troops, 21 will allow overflights and three more will allow partial overflights. The liberals are out there saying that President Bush can't act "unilaterally," yet we indeed have a coalition. "

IP:

mr.BIG
Member
posted February 03, 2003 08:42 PM         
Funny , those 8 nations are slavering over huge sums of U.S. taxpayer money for " Jumpin on the band wagon "
I just wish we could get a little protection for our southern borders

------------------
Support D.A.M. .............Mothers Adainst Dyslexia !

IP:

Scrap Metal
Member
posted February 03, 2003 09:41 PM            
i dont think mexico poses any real threat right now... not exactly hostile

IP:

mr.BIG
Member
posted February 03, 2003 09:52 PM         
Hi I'm Nero ( I think ) and leave me alone as I play my fiddle , " Ah warms the cockles of my heart to see the fire glow from Rome " Excuse me for a moment as I must go and ................Scream

------------------
Support D.A.M. .............Mothers Adainst Dyslexia !

IP:

Scrap Metal
Member
posted February 03, 2003 09:55 PM            
hey, i use the Nero - Burning Rom software

IP:

mr.BIG
Member
posted February 03, 2003 09:59 PM         
Far out , I do to , great German software huh ??? Now excuse me as I must burn a cd ......... then .........Scream

------------------
Support D.A.M. .............Mothers Adainst Dyslexia !

IP:

Scrap Metal
Member
posted February 03, 2003 10:37 PM            
i didnt know nero was german... i figured it was Roman lol

IP:

Scrap Metal
Member
posted February 03, 2003 10:44 PM            
ok i sent a link to this thread to one of my friends. he has TM too but dosnt play it anymore. i told him he's crazy but he thinks that once a game is more than 4 months old it is not worthy of being spit on or something. he may post here.

IP:

mr.BIG
Member
posted February 03, 2003 11:11 PM         
Great SM ......... I can hardly wait , since I've been playin TM since around 02/2000 . I remember guy's like Coax , Superunknown , Irascible , King John , ad infinium . Were just one big family sorta hehe .....throw in a few nuts and bolts , were really screwy .
I kinda miss ole Sage tho ......Sniff . Ole Neoki ......... Sniff ........... hehe

------------------
Support D.A.M. .............Mothers Adainst Dyslexia !

IP:

Scrap Metal
Member
posted February 04, 2003 09:47 PM            
the first post DID say pass it on.

IP:

Dreamer
Member
posted February 07, 2003 06:05 PM         
[rant, irony, more rant]
Ah, ze sound of ze boolits flyink zrou ze air... ze sound of panzerketten virlink up ze dust of ze desart!
Ze bombs and ze slaughterink!
Vairy pleesink.
Vairy gut!
Do not zink zere is no such zink as a just var!

Now ze american government finally shows its real face and reveals to the world ze evil vorkings of reinstated German nazi dictators. Finally ve are counted among zose states most stronkly linked to us: Ze norzern korea, cuba , ze warschauer pakt states - our old friends - lybia and all ze ozzers ve vould so vairy much like to be like. Finally ve can return to ze world sayink: here ve are again! Das Deutsche Volk is back and we are claiming our inheritance! Yes! Revenge for ze millions and billions of rotten teeth in our parent's and grandparent's mouths caused by ze american chocolate most zat vas most hideously given to them during ze days of ze drittes reichs downfall...
Come on, american friends, you can do better zan zat, call us a terrorist state, call us ze center of ze axis of evil.
and by all means do attack iraq right now. you know you cannot vait for too long - you are running low on oil, american friends...


vot on earth makes any of you zink you have any right vatsoever to take justice in your own hands and deliver it across ze globe if not greed and xenophobia? yes, zere are ze suppressed people of ze kuweit emirate. yes zere are ze veapons of ze mars destruction ze iraq may be havink or not. vat exactly is it you vant to see accomplished in zat region across ze globe?
ah, i see, you vant to help zose people, yes? vonderful idea.
zat's vot ozzer people said zey vanted to do earlier in ze last century, too... help people live zeir lives ze vay it vas (supposedly) best for zem. crush all possiblr opposition. act out zeir paranoia. follow mad leaders to death. yes, ve know zat very vell. Let us help you, zere is much to be learned from our history.
vot a nonsense. if iraq wants to have ze veapons of mars destruction, let iraq have zem. sell them to iraq. all ze more reason to attack aftervards - zey owned veapons designed for ze mars destruction, after all. Good testink grounds for your aged nuclear varheads, no?
vot a good idea to have people starve in your own land vile spendink billions on var abroad. Var against countries not even capable of zreatenink anyzink but your precious oil reserves (vich zey, by right of UN law on continental shelfs, claim to own, btw.)

Do make this the first war fought for oil.
Do make this another war fought against the poor in your own country.
Do make this anouther war to showcase the inventions of your weapons industry on both sides.
Do make this the last, the final war, the war to end all wars.
Maybe that would earn your president enough prestige to be elected again...
Maybe that would teach the world. Would it?
MAybe it would, after all. Maybe it would teach the rest of the world to leave the US alone.
Isolationism is what the US government is plotting as their future political course. Not a bad idea, I'm sure you'll agree
[/rant, irony]

Peace, friends, is the solution to our problems. Peace and tolerance. Not long-term goals, but states of mind.

IP:

Dreamer
Member
posted February 07, 2003 06:07 PM         
I'm very fond of the word "mars destruction", btw. That would be a worthy target for earth's weaponry. What a blast!

IP:

coaxs
Member
posted February 07, 2003 06:24 PM            
Dreamer, let me be the first to encourage you to join the "Politics and Philosophy" forum at the DMF. I think you'll enjoy it.
http://rixy.catalyst2.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.pl

IP:

Irascible
Member
posted February 07, 2003 09:12 PM            
How was peace negotiated with Hitler? Chamberlain tried it. Churchill accomplished it.

Three thousand Americans were murdered on 9/11/01. All the talk of American alterior motives is irrelevant to that fact. War has been declared on America. No fluffy state of mind will stop another three thousand from dying. And to speak of peace and tolerance when the radical sects of Islam know nothing but murder to advance their cause is the most ironic thing yet posted in this thread. Hitler couldn't be and radical Islamists can't be reasoned with.

How will peace be "negotiated" with the Wahhabi and other radical sects of Islam? The Inspector Clouseaus of the UN will try it. The American military will accomplish it.

IP:

=DNX= Matrix
Member
posted February 07, 2003 10:26 PM            
You know theres only really one good way to settle this - we take all the steel tanks and split them into 2 sections. We reskin them to look like Iraqui and american tanks - then I go off and make a nice lovely baghdad map complete with bunkers, ground troops etc

This wars going ahead wether we want it to or not - Bust wants his pound of meat and Blair wants blood - the best we can hope for it to extract at least a littkle fun from the whole shebang !

Coax, Dreamer would LOVE ZE INGLISHZ BAZED D-M-F FORUMZ I ZINK. VEGRY VEGRY TOPICKAL I ZINK !

That goes for anyone else wanting to discuss this - im sure LDA and the assigned admins dont want their game forum reducing into a bawl or political debate.. as so often stated, "this place is to discuss treadmarks the game" not a$$marks of the government.

Im not admin here but thats my 2p (link attatched).

------------------
-=≡[▓▒░ √‬‬‬‬‬‬‬וּίŢ ĐMF Fοrums Ć׀ﺁﭺκ ĦēŘ ▓▒░]≡=- ☺
-
ģ 2002 /\/\∩ŢŔİX


IP:

KONG
Member
posted February 07, 2003 11:15 PM            
quote:
[rant, irony, more rant]

Get a job!!! University does not give you moral advantage!

History is the key!


[This message has been edited by KONG (edited February 07, 2003).]

IP:

Scrap Metal
Member
posted February 08, 2003 12:56 AM            
I would LOVE an english translation of what dreamer just said, trying read it nearly knocked me unconscious! and i beleive there are a few things in there that will set me off like a nuclear warhead like no other.

i will respond to what i can:

I LOVE CHOCOLATE!

There is no doubt in MY mind that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction. there is no doubt in my mind that every third world country has possesion or easy access to at least ONE nuclear warhead. the fact is, if they really want to hide the weapons from us, we will never find them

IP:

Dreamer
Member
posted February 08, 2003 02:28 PM         
One point is:
If you think it's right for your country to have them, why shouldn't others claim the same right for themselves?

Another is:
Radical sects do not form without reason.

Yet another:
Ras, you're getting me wrong there - radical US citizens are the ones to be reasoned with here.

Some other bits:
War has been declared on the USA, not on America - but what kind of war? Not a war nation against nation, that's for sure. Not a civil war, either. War has been declared on the USA by a terrorist group (and several radical sects who keep threatening the USA without ever really acting and who in fact did not actively contribute to the 9/11 attack).
What can be a country's rightful response to such a declaration of war? Right: Ask those countries giving shelter to the offenders to help you persecuting that crime. If they don't comply, that's no reason for a country to declare war on another, right? Many thousand people are granted political asylum in Germany each year, because they would be tortured or killed in their own countries for some crime or another they have commited.

What can be the UN's response to countries hiding large-scale criminals? Sanctions.

What is the actual US response to that declaration of war? They respond in kind. Not to the offenders, though, but to other countries who may or may not have had connections with the terrorists the US government is after. Thinking it a better reason to declare war on iraq that iraq might have its own depots of chemical or biological weaponry is nonsense, since so do the US.

International law does, for weird reasons, allow some countries to have nuclear weaponry, but biological and afaik also chemical weaponry is totally and strictly banned.
I ask you: Why doesn't the world declare war on the US for keeping stores of biological weapons? Why don't we send UN inspectors to your country, threatening to eradicate you from this planet's face if you cannot prove that you don't have any, after all (which is technically impossible). I can tell you: It's because you don't have any really valuable natural resources, that's why.

To me this looks like a case of extreme and by all standards evil racism and / or a war fought for economical or (definitely to a great extent) propagandistic reasons.

Following the rules your government is making up, you'd have to declare civil war the next time some pupil shoots his classmates and teachers.

While it may be true that many US citizens want revenge for the thousands killed 9/11, revenge must not mean to kill thousands of other innocents abroad. And I don't want to hear the words "collateral damage" here. While many people in the near east don't particularly like the US, most simply want to be left alone by them. Meddling in other cultures' political affairs is usually not what they want.

The US are navigating us right into the next world war and that's not OK for me.

----

Matrix: As you may or may not have noticed, I'm pretty silent these days. I don't have much spare time and won't start to regularly scan yet another forum.

IP:

This topic is 2 pages long:   1  2