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Author Topic:   The Weatherman is handicapped!
The Weatherman
Member
posted May 29, 2001 04:18 PM         
Hey guys,
Just some M-day news to bring you smiles and encourage you to find me online.

This weekend I was celebrating Memorial Day in the manner of all red-blooded Americans - I went to a BBQ and got sauced. While there , I made the mistake of opening a screw top bottle with a bottle opener. The combination of my impaired state and my super-human strength allowed me to easily remove the glass lip from the bottle and jam it nice and deep into my middle finger. After some quick Band-Aid work I was able to rejoin the party and, thankfully, the sweet malty beverage was saved. Today I went to the infirmary at school where a team of doctors brilliantly put a splint and a new dressing on it (did you know there is only a
12 hr window to get stitches in your hand after an accident) and told me not to be such a baby. Here is a snapshot of the afflicted finger http://www.che.utexas.edu/~johnsan/Exhibit%20A.jpg
Unfortunately, I will not be able to play the piano once my cut is healed. That is not as bad as it sounds, because I could not play one beforehand . I do have this ridiculous splint on my finger that makes it hard to type and wear lab gloves. I will be a little hobbled when I go online, but I assure I am still quite dangerous. Hope you all have learned something from this tale of folly and take it easy on me online during my recuperation period (hehehe). Here is a picture of me and the afflicted finger wishing my online chums all the best http://www.che.utexas.edu/~johnsan/Mdays%20greetings.jpg .
-The Weatherman

EDIT: Warning, the precedeing pictures contain explicit offensive gestures. You have been warned.

[This message has been edited by The Weatherman (edited May 29, 2001).]

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=DNX= Matrix
Member
posted May 29, 2001 05:02 PM            
hey man, great pic of the mid digit lol, hiws about submitting a bio about the same length as the others on the DMF bio page and a location
www.deathmatch-federation.com

would be nice to get some others too

-=[/2]=- www.dnxworld.com

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peeeto
Member
posted May 29, 2001 05:28 PM         
oh - it's THAT finger!

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coax
Administrator
posted May 29, 2001 05:43 PM            
ahh.... you science people no sence of class.

I am science too. <~~~Obviously i have no sence of English too.

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oli2808
Member
posted May 29, 2001 06:21 PM            
i'm more worried about the strange evil looking posters and things on your wall , especially the fat tire thing........creepy!


oh yeh and can you make it more obvious who the person in the picture is please?, foot high white chalk lettering simply isn't enough these days.

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The Weatherman
Member
posted May 29, 2001 06:55 PM         
Replying in order,
Sure, I will try to get something to you soon - I was supposed to do tahat a while ago but got lazy

-Yep, do you think it to risque for the forum ? I don't want to be too much of a lout ala GUIDO

Hey, I am all class. Most of it low. I am a bit of an ugly American and smirkingly proud of it. Better living through chemistry....

Hey Oli - Fat Tire is a darn good Amber Ale made in the states. It has replaced Newcastle as my favorite and not for just the $ savings. You are probably just scared of the Jaguar-god The person in the pic is an avatar of The Weatherman. I would have made the label more vivid but I was fresh out of the blood of newbies (man, we have got to lure more fresh meat into TM)

I notice that no one is actually sorry that I cut me finger . If you feel bad about not having any symapathy for me, please send cheques, Creditcard #s, cash, hootch, and trained labmonkeys to the address shown on your screen. Thanks and godbless...

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lordbyron
Member
posted May 29, 2001 08:08 PM            
Weather,

You ACTUALLY went to Univ. Health Services?! What courage!...What bravery! I'm surprised they didn't just give you birth control pills and send you home (like they do everybody else...(smile!)) You must've got the 1 doc who knows what the hell he's talking about. This calls for the purple heart. After all, I'm sure you were cracking a brew to salute all of those honored dead servicemen who died so you could post the "bird" on the net. You're one brave American patriot, my friend.

I'm proud of you...(sniff! sniff!)

--lb

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Neo
Member
posted May 29, 2001 08:51 PM            
lol lol lol lol

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Neo
Member
posted May 29, 2001 08:52 PM            
Oh yeah....

Sorry about the finger, Weatherpatriot.

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Neo
Member
posted May 29, 2001 08:56 PM            
But I'm not sending my hard earned tax-return money!

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Robu1
Member
posted May 29, 2001 11:22 PM            
I feel soooo bad for you Weatherman :'( By the way, I noticed you have the same Edition of Carey's Organic Chemistry as me! Go fig. - Chemical Engineering, Pharmacy - same thing. Must be fun to show people where you're hurt now .

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SuperUnknown
Administrator
posted May 29, 2001 11:56 PM            
LOL,I hurt my finger on M-day too.In my drunken state I got a good sized splinter between my fingernail from a picnic table.I know it sounds like nothing,but now its swollen and infected.Must not have got it all out.

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The Weatherman
Member
posted May 30, 2001 07:55 AM         
Ahhh gents, the out pouring of symapthy has really touched me. Me little heart has grown 3 sizes and stuff.

Thanks LB and lol- the trick is to go to sports medicine/urgent care . They are usu. concerned with caring for the biggest babies and not dishing out anti-bebe-pillens. Where you at and what you do?

Thanks for the concern, NeoRobu. Suerte tomorrow - stay cool and break of a big piece of Supercoax for me. Remember, were number 1 (see above picture)!

Supe, sorry about the hand. Don't look for too much sympathy here - they don't seem to care for Memorial Day veterans like us.

A quick, non-BS note - I am very grateful to the vets out there who have given basically everything so that America (and the Allies)have remained free.

Now be sure to go wash after touching the Weatherman

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oli2808
Member
posted May 30, 2001 01:10 PM            
sorry bout the finger weatherman..looks nasty.I'd send you piles of cash to compensate but i have just lost all my money by giving it to the sick and needy...(will that do?)

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lordbyron
Member
posted May 30, 2001 06:20 PM            
Yeap Weather,

I too live in the boiling cauldron of paradise (a.k.a. Austin, TX). Hot as hell, but a cool place to live. And I'm a grad stud over in the English dept.(My nom-de-plum goes over well there...a few of them actually even know who the hell Lord Byron was. Most, incorrectly, think he was the greatest English Romantic poet...Pitiful fools forget Shelley or Keats.)

Anyway, enough shop-talk rambling. I'm not a chem. major, but have been know to raise a glass of its finest...and to continue your earlier discussion on beer, and perhaps to gladen our Brit. peers and enrage other Yanks, this finest is of course Guinness. Real beer should be both meal and mead for the masses. So slice off a chunk, spread it on a loaf, and pass it my way. American food may be better, but not our beer. (Maybe there's a correlation here?!)

Just my humble (well, not really) opinion,

--lb

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Neo
Member
posted May 30, 2001 09:48 PM            
I disagree. I think the best beer comes not from the Americans or the Brits, but rather the Dutch. Ever hear of Heineken? Ohhhhh, man....

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Neo
Member
posted May 30, 2001 09:52 PM            
Oh yea, and Shelley was cool. Didn't he write 'Ozymandias'? Good stuff....

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The Weatherman
Member
posted May 31, 2001 11:25 AM         
Well, turns out that I am not all that (physically) handicapped. I only kept the splint on for 1 day and my cut doesn't even bother me. Really I just wanted to flip everybody off in a non-offensive manner

Hey LB or should I say....BK! I have found out LB's secret identity is none other than his grilled majesty, Burger King (looked in the UT Dir). So, be sure to hit him up for coupons for free fries and all that.
Yeah, I suspected you were a man of letters from your eloquent replies to HEWHOMUSTNOTBEENCOURAGED . Honestly don't know many poems or poets, though I know quite a few dirty limericks.

One of these days we should meet at the Gingerman and test whether your Anglobrewophilia is justified. Of course, the Crown and Anchor would do in a pinch...

-Pass the napalm, it is time to go online...(grins to Sailor)

EDIT- *Stupidity deleted* Heineken is okay, I do like their dark, but their reg isn't remarkably different from a lot of other green bottled lagers.
Sorry for being so off the TM topic...

[This message has been edited by The Weatherman (edited May 31, 2001).]

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Dreamer
Member
posted May 31, 2001 12:20 PM         
Next you'll rant against Germans...
I say stop it.

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The Weatherman
Member
posted May 31, 2001 12:37 PM         
Point taken - Dreamer refers to a weak jab at the Dutch using 2 cutltural icons ,one obvious invention, and an attempt at a starwars quote. The joke was in the same spirit that I kid my good friend of New Zealand descent for being a 'wily Kiwi'. I tried to make it clearly a joke, but it was not a very good one. It was ignorant, inappropriate, and has been deleted. The Dutch, British, Germans, and all other nationalities are all right in my book and I think it is cool that there are members of so many countries that participate in TM.
Sincerely,
The Weatherman

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coax
Administrator
posted May 31, 2001 01:14 PM            
I'm ashamed of both of you Weatherman and Lord Byron. How can you live in the south-west and not think its all about the Coronas and the Tequilla. So ashamed-so ashamed.

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oli2808
Member
posted May 31, 2001 01:16 PM            
heineken's pretty cool but you can't beat stella.

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lordbyron
Member
posted May 31, 2001 05:47 PM            
Point taken Coax,

Sorry, but I'm not a big fan of Coronas (much too weak for me,) but mentioning tequila in a discussion about beer is like comparing how much you love your mistress to how much you love your wife...One you adore and do foolish things with; the other makes you smile and helps you through everyday life.

(And btw...this IS a hypothetical comparison. I am not married. And if I ever am, I will deny ever saying any of this. )

--lb

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The Weatherman
Member
posted May 31, 2001 06:09 PM         
You should never , never , never beat Stella. That is just wrong and I never endorsed that. Ok, I'll bite, what is stella?

BTW, I am not sure who has the best beer - England has some wonderful beers as does Germany (tho hobbled by the purity laws). I think the US is getting better all of the time and certainly is more innovative (not talking about the big boys here). My US faves are Fat Tire - New Belgium Brewing Co, Anchorsteam, Sierra Nevada pale ale, Purple Haze - by Abita(yum), and Blackened Voodoo - by Dixie. As for Mexican, my favorite is Negra Modelo by Modelo brewery - I think they are associated with Corona. Corona 'taint bad but it is mighty light. Much tastier than Bush type lagers - they are like making love in a canoe, if you know what I mean.... I would be pleased if some of our neighbors from across the pond would share theirs

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The Weatherman
Member
posted May 31, 2001 06:13 PM         
Hey, here is a great scientific comparison of world beers - US, UK , AL (is that right for Germany) and many more.

Don't even get me started about tequila :p

Edit: Doh! here it is http://micro.magnet.fsu.edu/beershots/index.html

[This message has been edited by The Weatherman (edited May 31, 2001).]

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